Thoughts fly through my mind as I try to remember everything that happens here. Again, I thought when I read all of your letters from your missions, that I was understanding what it was like. Well, I know that can't be true because there is no way you can fit everything you feel inside one letter...let alone in 60 minutes. And yet I still found power in all your letters when I was reading them at home. It shows to me that the spirit really can direct our fingers as we type to our families.
This week I've learned a lot about love. In my study journal, I've made an index in the front that says the different topics contained, and where they are. It has become super helpful to prepare for lessons and such. Out of all the topics I really love all the notes that I've taken on Charity, Love, and Service.
Charity is not what we think it is. Often, people couple it with love--rightfully so. However, I was observing in Moroni 7 the things that charity does and doesn't do. I discovered that only one word, kind, had any face value meaning of outwardly helping others. All the other positive effects of Charity-- suffering long, rejoicing in truth, bearing believing and hoping everything, and being perfect--all have to do with changing our relationship with God and truly just changing the inner most parts of ourselves. Steven, I know that right now in your life you have a lot on your plate....and it will get better. I've thought a lot about you and how I loved--and still love--our relationship as brothers. I know that if you develop this sense of Charity--about changing the inside first--then everything else will fall into place. I focus on you because you have not yet served a mission. I know if you learn to master it in your own way, it will make going through High School a lot easier. So...what do we do.
Well, we must have faith that we can change. We gotta focus on the power of God and that through that power, we can do all things. I think our family motto goes well with bearing, believing, and hoping all things--Enjoy it. Faith truly moves mountains. It is by faith that Nephi and Lehi (sons of Helaman) were freed from prison and all 300 people (who obviously wanted to kill them) around them were converted because they believed! Truly faith has power. I thought I had faith in my life...and I did. But it can grow a WHOLE LOT more. So...what do we do to get that faith.
Well, we gotta wanna, and this happens when we start acting like it. I've seen that if we just lay back and let ourselves roll with the motions, nothing will really happen. One way I've done this is I've started praying for miracles. Seth gave me this idea. He told of how he would ask the Sisters in his district to look for miracles every day and to then report them to him. Well, I've started to do the same thing, except I report them to the man upstairs (and I don't mean the 3rd floor). For example, one day, unbeknownst to me, I lost my temple checklist from Grandma Bangerter in 19M aka the Gym/Auditorium/2,000 people walk through it after devotionals. I didn't know it was gone until a Sister in my district came to my desk and set it in front of me....and that was just a little one. I've seen missionaries change. I've seen companionships that were...not the best of friends become pretty compatible. Within our own zone we've seen miracles that are just as miraculous as Jesus' miracles in the Bible! I've seen the spirit work on my companion, prompting him to say the right thing at the right time. I've pictured in my mind multiple times the savior sitting in our lesson, council meeting, or classroom and this image has made me want to be that BEST missionary. "If the Savior stood beside me would I do the things I do, would I follow his commandments.....He is always near me though I do not see him there. I know he loves me dearly and I am in his watchful care. SO I'll be the kind of person that I know I'd want to be if I could see the savior standing nigh, watching over me". I've felt the presence of the Holy Ghost in ways that I never have before. The Lord loves his missionaries, and he doesn't want us to fail or falter or feel inadequate. Another miracle I saw was the power of scripture studying. Holy Cow, I know that if we have a REAL question, it really will get answered. I realized, haha, that most of the questions I went to the scriptures with were so simple even a baby could answer it. When I asked those questions, I'd think, "Come on Elder, you already know the answer." And so, I know that when our questions are REAL we can receive real answers, and if we don't have that REAL question...don't worry, just read where you are and I know something will come up.
We have about 2-3 more weeks here and its time to roll! I'm working on the language every day, but I know I can do better. I'm so grateful for all the blessings I've received in my education and in church. I'm especially grateful that the spirit can teach languages too! It makes it a lot less daunting. nonetheless...I'm nowhere near I want to be!
I love seeing Eliza or Lance von Bracht, or Brother and Sister Sowby or Parrish. All of them give me great comfort to see.
Last thought comes from Tuesday Devotional: When you have free time, read the book of mormon (libri i mormonit). Seek ye out of the best books. I know it is great and will do marvels for your day.
Unë di që çdo ditë Perëndia do të tregon dashuria e tij për ne. E Mëndoj për ju, familje time, gjithëmonë. Të lutem, e jep dashuria time të gyshë garlick dhe gyshe bangerter. E dua mëtëcë (MTC). Të dua!
Bir dhe Vëlla juaj,
Elder Bangerter.
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